It used to be that only celebrities had stalkers. Now everyone does. Was it us imitating the celebrities, or the stalkers imitating the celeb's stalkers? Come on, stalkers, why limit yourself to stalking a nobody.
I don't know if I have any dedicated stalkers, so I stalk myself. It's easy to figure out Larry-bob's real name -- it's on the copyright page of the zine. Oddly, on the website it's listed as Larry Roberts -- perhaps to discourage random searches by relatives.
Larry-bob's street address isn't listed in the phone book. Even the reverse number lookups don't work. The zine's listed as being published from a PO Box. The website's registered at the Po Box too. But I have my ways of knowing.
I've been peering in the windows of my apartment, trying to see what clues are discernable. I think I see a picture hanging above the mantel, and oddly, some dolls.
The Holy Titclamps website itself has a wealth of information. Oddly, the site seems to span two servers, part served from the holytitclamps.com domain, and part from i.com, apparently a relic of earlier, pre-domain name hosting of the site. A Deja.com usenet search turns up postings to a variety of newsgroups, revelaing especial interests in the music, particularly that of Momus, and in homosexuality. No big surprises there. It seems likely that he's at least a vegetarian, based on recipes he's posted to a vegetarian newsgroup accessible via Deja. Sadly, Deja doesn't have as old listings as they used to, and searches for old email addresses of Larry-bob that I happen to know about don't work anymore. However, Deja says they're planning on bringing older messages back on line, so happy stalking when that happens.
Larry's event listings in San Francisco provide a clue to his whereabouts, presuming that he actually occasionally follows his suggestions about interesting things to do and isn't just at home using his computer. Examining the archives of his events email list shows patterns. It's hard to determine where he works. He may be unemployed at the moment.
His website presents few clues to his current appearance -- the only photos of him are years old or in Halloween costume. Based on a rant against facial hair, it seems likely that he is still clean-shaven. All evidence indicates he is still partnered with Nick Leonard. His age can be determined from the "Happy Trollday" rant -- his birthdate is October 21, 1966.
Ordering the paper zine provides a wealth of details, as well as a frisson from coming so near the object of stalking -- just imagine, Larry-bob himself (assuming he has no interns) last touched this zine. Issue 17 of the zine includes a chronology of his last 10 years. It seems likely that someone active for 10 years in the underground has an FBI file, though of course it can't be requested by people other than him while he's still alive.
Larry-bob
larrybob@gmail.com
9/12/2000