For Drew personally, the Fairy King is God. In the Bible God splits the people apart (shattered psyche) and gives them separate languages. Why, then, would he not appear to different people in different guises, e.g. Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, King Fairy? It is symbolically all the same thing: reaching oneness. Much the same as the way you could say Darby Crash did with (in my opinion) his (1) thesis: "No God," (2) antithesis: "Throw it Away." and (3) synthesis: his suicide, putting the separates together to make one, "returning to God," be it the original mind from whence all comes. Drew met God, the King of the Fairies, found, peace, and accepted the meaning of life. His life was a search for meaning, a suffering for art, a suffering of unrequited love. I always wondered why he chose so to suffer. Now I know I believe it was his search for meaning, his awakening. Death is not the end, but the beginning. Or as Wordsworth said, "Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting" of the deathless everlasting truth of life.

If a person feels depressed in the presence of others who in his opinion are more intelligent, or whatever (as Drew said, Punk is a failure, therefore he felt he was a failure), then he is making the mistake of identifying a part of himself with his personal individuality. I've done that too, and the result is a feeling of being inferior, which leads to depressive withdrawal, ³aloneness in the desert.²

Once you realize your personal worth is beyond manifestation, your security will no longer be threatened by the accomplishments of others. This is how it goes when you must struggle to fill the holes in yourself left by incomplete love of parents. But at least now you know you have a right to exist as you actually are. You are free to let go, to choose what you want. To suffer solitary aloneness and singularity is to be able to reach the end, to gain unity with the oneness. The Gospel of Eve says: "I stood on a loft mountain and saw a mighty man, and another, a dwarf, and heard as it were a voice of thunder, and it said unto me: "I am thou and thou are I; wherever you are I am there and I am sown (scattered) in all; wherever you go, you gather Me and in gathering me you gather yourself." (See Mead, G.R.S. "Fragments of a faith forgotten.")

It's all about becoming the spirit within the body, the body symbolizing the material aspect of existence in this plane. In the Visions of Zosimos, it says, "I am the Ion, the priest of the inner sanctuaries, and I submit myself to unendurable torment (as did Drew), till I perceived by the transformation, so fear of change, that even of death, is senseless. It can be compared to "purgatory," which is the condition of being identified with the flaming desirousness of concupiscence (sexual desire) and the raging wrath which is generated when desire is frustrated. That's what Drew's experience with Randy was: his experience with that thing unattainable. His rage was deftly expressed in his art, his poetry. He gave words to his suicidal despair and his utter alienation from life and its meaning. As did Job in the Bible with his repeated question: "Why?"

The experience of the Self is always a defeat to the ego. The ego strives for singular life and will kill you to get it. The split is healed when the ego sees and accepts the self, which is the One, the healer, "God." Fire rains from Heaven when you get a glimpse of Hell.

Drew Blood is a symbol of the truth for us all. The "redeeming blood of Christ" is a conscious-bringing fluid derived from the self which conveys a broader viewpoint (gives the bigger picture) with the archetypal meaning of existence and releases the individual from his narrow, personatistic, ego-dimensions. The torment of meaningless torture and the torment of crucifixion are painful, but just the one generates precious life fluid, in that it is voluntary.

In the same way Christ was, Drew was drenched in his own blood. Blood establishes a bond between man and the divine/demonic powers. Without the shedding of blood there is no "forgiveness." Darby knew what he was talking about when he said "We Must Bleed" because we must "bleed" to be "forgiven."

Two men can become blood brothers, brothers in blood, by opening their veins and sucking one another's blood. Their lives become one not two. The same can be said of two men who drink each other's cum. That's right. Homosexuality is the true way man is to be, unity between man and woman to be used only when necessary for man the creation to continue. The body of a man turns blood into semen. The body of a woman turns blood into milk. The sacrifice becomes the sacrificed and the blood of the enemy becomes the blood of God. The ancient alchemists said "man's blood is our fire." The true sacred way of life, homosexuality, was kept secret by the scribes by changing words to make it sound like an abomination to God when it is really a transportation to God.

In the apocryphal "Odes of Solomon," Ode 19, it says, "A cup of milk was offered to me and I drank it in the sweetness of the delight of the Lord. The Son is the cup, and he who was milked is the Father, and the Holy Spirit milked Him: because His breasts (balls) were full, and it was necessary for Him that His milk should be sufficiently released; and the Holy Spirit opened his bosom and mingled the milk from the two breasts (balls) of the Father; and gave the mixture to the world without their knowing."

This is transmission of archetypal life energy - the Father's Milk; we all know what that is. Quoting here Clement of Alexandria," ...the food is the milk of the Father. Believing in "God" we take refuge at the "are-soothing breast" of the Father, and He alone supplies us babes with the "milk of love" and those only are blessed who suck this "breast."

The Father is the "Logos" and the Logos is not only milk but also semen, as indicated by the following verse of Ode 19... "And those who take it (the Milk of the Father) are in the fullness of the right hand. The womb of the Virgin took it and she received conception and brought forth: and the Virgin became a mother with great mercy." It is not Holy Communion, but HOLY CUM UNION. Blood, milk, and semen are variations of the same essential substance, the "Logos Sperma tikos," the creative, impregnating "Word" (cum). "The Word is made flesh."

According to Chrystostom, Christ was the first to eat his own flesh and drink his own blood. The Zodical symbol of the fish is 69. 69 is the true symbol of Holy Cum Union. Christ said Cum with me and I will make you fishers of men.

The rose is a symbol of life everlasting. The blood, cum milk, leading to it. The Red Sea is the water of death for the unconscious, but a baptismal water of rebirth and transcendence for the conscious. The conscious are those who know the truth. Drew was sacrificed by God to show us all the way. The "eyes red with wine" are the eyes drunk on the blood of Life. Taking not the blood of pigs or goats, but his own blood, he secured an eternal redemption.

Whenever a sterile, stagnant, or depressing state of consciousness is released by images, feelings, and energies, an archetypal dynamism represented by the Blood of Christ has begun to operate. Each of our personal selves has a metaphysical foundation and hence an undeniable right to exist in all its uniqueness, each a part of the whole.

Queen Bee.

Signed in blood, Regi Mentle - Friday the 13th of November, 1998.